A Temporary Goodbye

It seems that only the hardest of times and the best of times bring me back to this old, abandoned blog. Some days it's both.
On the rare occasion I actually post something, you know a lot must be on my mind.

Today I lost one of my dearest friends.
Last night as I drove home from saying goodbye to my dear, sweet Grandma- I rode alone in my car and quietly sang hymns to myself.
"Be still, my soul: The hour is hast'ning on

When we shall be forever with the Lord,

When disappointment, grief, and fear are gone,

Sorrow forgot, love's purest joys restored.

Be still, my soul: 

When change and tears are past,

All safe and blessed we shall meet at last."

I kissed her forehead one last time. I reminded her how much I adored her. 
And then I watched as one of her last raspy breaths left her sick body.

I thought back to every road trip, every one of my choir concerts she attended, every birthday note, every warm hug. And it's weird, what you miss about people- It's their smell, the way the corners of their mouth turn up when they smile, the way they believe in you.

Summertime watching fireworks in Grandma's backyard, every Thanksgiving dinner and every game of cards. You wish you could go back and freeze moments. An easier time when Grandma hadn't heard the big bad, "C" word that would eventually take everything from her.
Cancer took my best friend.

But she was my soldier. My greatest inspiration. 
And now she's my guardian angel. I know that.